Back Tae Torah part 5: Crawling Through the Mud
I had come to a crossroads. Travelling the highways and byways of Scotland, funding, listening and encouraging the dreams of the saints with the Seedbed Trust. The lights suddenly switched off and in the midst of it all I felt I had lost Jesus and I didn’t know why. It just didn’t seem to make sense any more. Everything was going so well but I knew some-thing was very wrong with where we were all heading. I needed to find out how we got here and how in some way we could find a way home again.
The Head of John the Baptist
First stop: Rome. A week-long visit to the tombs of dead apostles and early church fathers. I went alone. I wanted to somehow see if I could touch the past there. I was entranced by the skull of John the Baptist, wrapped in a cloth on show in a chapel, and the honeycombed catacombs crammed with bones and tourists. I talked with local monks and priests and got invited to a party with UN folks. I learned about the massive problem of a priesthood addicted to paedo-philia and old mystery religions, hidden behind their Latin chants and ‘social justice’. The UN activists seemed just as lost, helicoptering from one disaster relief operation to another; then back to saunas, drugs and booze in Rome. In the Sistine chapel among the most beautiful paintings on earth, knowing what I knew, I felt sick. Whatever was real about the historical Jesus was lost long ago in the surreal masonic rites and subterranean graveyards of Rome. So if He is not there where is He?
The Nephilim of Ettington
I managed to crawl through Xmas, into spring, I still had no relief. On top of that I became more aware of my inner state and years of neglect. Plenty of prayer, sweat, thinking and action but was there any real genuine repentance? Not so much. My mind felt like it was a sewer, entertaining thoughts and watching movies that would have made me blush as a new Christian. I was in the grip of old fashioned Holy Ghost conviction but I was so unused to it - I didn’t recognise it as such. I was suddenly aware that I’d strayed way off from His path a long time ago and it was driving me crazy. I could think of nothing else but how to get back what I’d lost. I would do anything to get it back - anything.
Then, as if the elevator wasn’t going down far enough already, it went subterranean. It was at Ettington Hotel, at a Seedbed staff weekend hangout, that I received a 3am visitation from a real live demon thingy, a big one. All the elec-trical stuff in my room started going nuts; the TV started switching itself on and off and the fire alarm came on. Well, I haven’t met one of these things for over 20 years, not since my John Wimber, Vineyard Fellowship, ‘signs and wonders’ days; when we attended workshops on how cast these things out of folks. It’s what we did back in those days. Well, I remembered how much I don’t like them, that I never liked them. The hair on the back of my neck was sticking up as if attached to ten Van-de-Graf generators all at once. The atmosphere was thick, filled with sickening terror. Most palpa-ble of all, hate: for me, for humans, for God. I could swear it was laughing at me. Prayer was impossible; I couldn’t speak. I was even thinking ‘But… I’m a post congregational, post-charismatic, emerging missional activist kinda dude!’; ‘I don’t do demons!’
This over-keen entity may have made its biggest mistake by revealing itself, it may have shot itself in the foot or cloven hoof or whatever these critters have, because it woke me up from my somnabulance like a really strong coffee! You can read the full Ettington story here
The Return of Gary and Graham
I was touring around Scotland on Seedbed duty. I popped by my old mate Graham, who was part of the group of us that found Jesus on our old housing estate see: part 1. He excited-ly shows me some YouTube videos in his kitchen. Video after video of bones of ancient Nephilim giants that used to rule the pre-flood age (Genesis 6:4). Now, due to extreme weather and earth events, being unearthed around the world. At first, of course, I went into ‘conspiracy’ damage control and began to assure my old chum that Photoshop, YouTube…blah blah… Suddenly, however, something stopped me in my tracks. I shut my mouth.
You see, over the years, I had this ‘test’ I had for every new alternative Christian fad I got involved in. The test was: ‘what do my old housing estate mates think of it?’ I wrote about this ‘Estate Test’ in an early article for Emerging Church Blog, called: E of Emerging Church. Thanks to Hamo for this.
Each movement I’ve been through I asked the same question ‘is it ‘really’ the gospel of Jesus for the poor?’
Estate Test: Results
- Charismatic movement - naw!
- John Wimber and Signs and Wonders - nope.
- NOS / Alt.Worship – nup!
- Emerging church - eh?
- Seedbed and social justice - nah!
The trouble is that my working class buddies in Aberdeen were turned away by the ‘new Christianity’ a long time ago. They regarded it as a load of self-serving bunk for privileged people. And they have never had any qualms about telling me that I have been quite seduced by it all. So for once I decided to listen; really listen good and hard.
My brother Gary then began to show me all the research he had been doing; showing me pictures of ruins, artifacts, ancient technologies and all kinds of new evidence pointing to a whole new way of looking at the end times. Again I bit my lip - this was all debunked in the 70s I thought.
But I noticed something about the two of them, Graham and Gary. They were on fire! Suddenly after 30 years of si-lence they were back. They were back digging into the Bible, praying, forgiving old enemies and making massive chang-es in their lives.
This was all happening completely off the radar of the local church and way off the radar of the latest Christian move-ment and involved deep repentance and hungering for the same commandments that Jesus followed. This was their ‘deep medicine’ for the big stuff many of us faced in some awful places as kids.
So, applying the Estate test once again:
- Return to Torah - AYE!
Suddenly a light switched on in the darkness, the solution became really simple and obvious. Gary told me his way back to JESUS felt like crawling through the mud on your hands and knees. I knew it was going to be the same for me.
I knew it would cost me my job, my status, and even, I feared, all my Christian friends. But I had to go and find out if this was true, in the only way I knew how. By doing an experiment and calling it One Year with Yeshua.
Experiment: One Year with Yeshua
Obey all the commandments in the Old Testament for one year
The 7 feasts, food laws and 10 commandments to start, then keeping going as far as I can with the rest of the whole Kaboodle. From an ancient Hebrew worldview, we His people are technically in our 3rd exile; 2000 years waiting on God’s naughty step before He returns to restore all things. No temple laws or high court laws can be practiced but that still leaves plenty of stuff to get on with. Goodbye bacon-butties, hello Tzit-tzits.
Think of Yeshua as my Rabbi Get on His narrow trail of learning. Reading the New Testament with His Hebrew specs on. Doing my best to avoid the super-muddy ditches of Christianity and Judaism.
Record the outcome Write it down and publish it among my peers - if I have any left by then!
Read the next and final article to find out how I got on.
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